Lost a friend the other day; a good one. She said they didn’t like the road I was going down, and that she didn’t want to lose someone else.
Which was fine by me, but it made me stop and just think about what I was doing.
The answer wasn’t the one I wanted. What I wanted was to turn my gaze inward and see the persona I created for myself- a man wandering towards his destination while making the best of life as he went.
What lay inside was a bit more pathetic than it was poetic. I’m running. Running away from the sadness and negativity in my life. Or at least I’m doing a shit job of ignoring it. My spirituality is escapism as well, and that’s even more painful to accept. At best, it’s just me finding an external reason to have hope. At worst, it’s an excuse to do more psychedelics and such.
I don’t know where Cain has been wandering to this whole time. I feel like I’m back at square one, and the only thing I can think to do is to pick a new direction and start wandering again. Just another day in the life.